Infuse Me

29 06 2011

It never fails. (Unlike my “a” key, which is currently being finicky and needing an extra strong punch every time I use it.)

Infusions come up, and I have a to-do list in my head because, shoot, all I’m doing is sitting around a hospital for four hours three days in a row. There’s lots I can get accomplished.

But then we start and I become fatigued–both mentally and physically–in a hurry.

I’m not even the one doing the work.

Simply thrilled to be there.

Zack had an extra hard time this go-around. (He is studiously ignoring me in this picture.)

As nice as the people at the hospital are, we really don’t mind waiting four months to go back.

The Mystery of the Peanut Circle

22 06 2011

A couple of days ago, I came home only to find a pile of unshelled peanuts on the front walk. I’d estimate there were about twenty or so in the pile, which was centered directly in a circle on the corner of the walk. Last year, I’d had a pot of flowers there, and here in the northwest we grow stuff even on our aggregate concrete. The spot where the pot had sat was several shades lighter than the surrounding concrete. So here was this pile of peanuts, right in the circle. “What’s with the peanuts?” I thought.

The next day, as I herded the children out the door to the dentist’s office (I know how to start the summer with a bang!), the peanuts were still there, sitting in their circle. The neighbor boy, who has been coming over during the day for a couple of weeks because his regular babysitter had a family emergency, saw them and said, “What’s with the peanuts?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “But we’ve got to go or we’re going to be late.” Even as I said that, though, I was thinking to myself, “I’m going to take a picture of those there peanuts for my blog.”

After an enjoyable time at the dentist (no cavities for anyone!), we went to Sam’s Club (which was not my brightest idea ever, but we survived). The kids piled out of the car while I planned out Operation Grocery-Put-Away, when Neighbor Boy said, “Hey! The peanuts are gone!”

Sure enough, other than two stray peanuts sitting outside the circle, the peanuts had disappeared.

Now that I’ve gone out there and taken the picture, I see there are three peanuts left. Sorry, my mistake.

So, Dear Readers, I have a few questions with which I need help.

Who put those peanuts there to begin with?

Secondly, why? Is it some sort of bizarre peace offering from the neighbor children?

And, once someone put the peanuts there for whatever reason they had, where did they go?

It may always remain a mystery, but I welcome your best guesses.




19 06 2011

A father is someone who whispers in your ear, “You are beautiful,” and believes it, even when you know you’re only of average prettiness.

A father is someone who encourages you to follow your dreams.

A father is someone who suscribes to four newspapers and cuts out articles he thinks you might be interested in (which is a good thing, because, well, you don’t subscribe to any).

 A father is someone who buys noisy toys for your children and then just smiles when you ask, “Is this payback?”

A father is someone who slips you money to help “pay for expenses” even when he already bought your plane ticket to come and visit him.

A father is someone who’s always glad to see you.

A father is someone who will sit on the floor to play Chutes and Ladders with your children even though he can barely stand up afterward because of his bad knees.

A father is someone who teaches you how to shuffle and play cards.

A father is someone who takes you fishing–or in my case, not.

A father is someone who takes lots of pictures of you and only one third of them are embarrassing.

A father is someone who teaches you lots of things without saying anything at all.

I love you, Dad. Happy Father’s Day.

This Post Is Hilarious (Well, Funnier than the Last One, Anyway)

18 06 2011

I am taking the gentle hint left by my dear brother in the comments to lighten up a little! In so many words.

Seriously, though, I tried to think of something funny to post about, but I couldn’t.

Did you hear that? I couldn’t think of anything funny to post about. That, my friends, is pretty sad.

Apparently I do need to lighten up. Or at least write things down because I seem to be having trouble retaining things at an ever-increasing rate. (Does that sentence make sense? The trouble retaining is increasing, not the actual retention. Right.)

I woke this morning from one of those in-and-out dreams that happen when you wake up a little but fall back to sleep again directly. The dream continues, and when you wake up fully lots of details are still pretty vivid. As I skimmed over those details in my mind (which included a heaving bridge, a forceful [by me] evacuation from the car, a diner with a mis-spelled name, a birthmark shaped like the Jordache logo [I know, right?], a point-and-shoot camera that took impossibly amazing photos of my parents, and a mouthed conversation with Jana Parker [does Jana Parker even know who I am? What’s she doing in my dream, anyway?] across the diner) I thought  I might come up with some way to make it all funny for a blog post.

But then I remembered this. “Ah.” I thought. “Blog post written.”

This is an ad from the USAToday weekend insert of the newspaper. What I find most hilarious isn’t necessarily the products (although some of them are pretty great), it’s the pictures. They are so obviously doctored it isn’t funny. Okay, wait. It is funny.

These anti-wrinkle patches are free–NO hidden charges and NO automatic shipments. What they don’t tell you is the before picture lady has lines drawn on her face, and the after lady simply washed them off.

This might be more convincing if the pictures weren’t actually cartoons.

Hmm. Luckily I don’t have this particular beauty issue. But if I did, it’s a relief to know they stay put when exercising and dancing.

I think this one might be my favorite. I wonder what “gently activate molecules and increase lip size by plumping up lips” actually means. It appears (at least to my uneducated eyes) that the shell thingy you put over your lips acts rather like when you put your mouth into a tube and suck on it until it sticks to your face.

In which case, I just saved you $24.95 (plus S & H).

You’re welcome.


15 06 2011

It’s pretty sad when I have to look at my own blog to remember what my last post was.

Dear Blog,

Sorry you’ve had to suffer such neglect. I’ll try to do better.



I tried to write a post Monday morning. Nothing was coming together, though. Thought about posting about cupcakes and my garage sale, but I almost put myself to sleep drafting it.

Right. When you fall asleep while writing a blog post, something’s missing.

Yesterday was one of those days where I had dovetailed my schedule into fifteen minute increments to ensure I got everything done that I needed to do and everyone where they needed to go when they needed to be there.

Those high-flying plans were derailed by eight o’clock when the big kids did NOT catch the bus and Rainbow was NOT feeling well enough to go to school. I rolled with it, though. (School’s out on Monday–hooray!) Drove Zack and Eden to school, got Colby ready and fed before his bus. Sigh. Wait–that should say “Fist pump!” instead.

I have been watching the neighbor boy this week, since he goes to private school and got out last Friday. (Too bad we aren’t Catholic.) He and Rainbow played video games (how well aren’t you feeling, Rainbow?) while I mowed the lawn.

I went out of town last week to visit my parental units in Idaho (it was completely lovely). I hadn’t got the lawn mowed before I left, so now I faced a good two or two-and-a-half weeks of spring grass growth.

I don’t mind mowing the lawn. In fact, out of all the yard work-type chores I have, I like it way more than weeding and only slightly less than planting flowers. [Insert chart of my yard work preferences here.]

After only once around the yard I was ready to dump the clippings. I opened the gate at the bottom of the yard, stepped through it, and started to cry.

You see, several weeks ago it was an awful Wednesday evening. Drizzly and completely miserable. Naturally, that was the date the priesthood were going to come and do a service project in my yard. The first brother from the Elders’ Quorum showed up. I said to him, “You really don’t have to do this today. Honest. We’ll be all right.”

He shrugged his shoulders and said, “I’ve worked in worse.”

I took him to the back yard to show him what I needed help with. “These three bushes are kind of dead. Do you think we can get rid of them?” I was thinking we’d have to figure out how to back a pickup truck down there and yank them out with a chain. He leaned over one, gripped it by the trunk, and heaved it out.

Wow. Thank you, Elders’ Quorum!

A couple of other gentlemen showed up, and I apologized for the crummy weather (because, obviously, it’s my fault). They just shrugged. “We’ve been working in it all day.”

I sketched out briefly (because I wanted to go inside and get out of the cold rain) what I needed help with. They fired up their power tools and went at it.

So, yesterday when I went to throw out the grass clippings, I started to cry because they had sawn and cut and chopped a four-foot barrier behind my fence.

The yard backs up to a green belt, and I’ve been battling blackberry bushes for years. They climb fences, tangle in trees, and generally make life miserable with their gigantic thorns.

The blackberries are subdued.

The small tree sprung from a root in the middle of the grass is gone.

The overhanging branches are cut back.

The broken hinge on the gate is fixed.

The dead bushes are gone.

The burden of things that I wanted to do, of things I knew needed doing but couldn’t quite accomplish, was lightened.

I am not surprised by goodness in people; I know too many who do so much to doubt that. I am simply humbled by that goodness being directed toward me, when there are so many others that need so much.

Priesthood brethren, I love you. Thank you for your goodness.